Holding Space for Grief and Joy

As a culture we tend to think in very black and white terms. There is not a lot of space for gray or nuance.

This mentality, I’m afraid has bled into our ability to feel deeply the grief of things not here and the joy of the gifts that we do have in front of us.

Walk with me for a moment. What if it was indeed possible for us to be able to experience both grief and joy. What if as we sit in spring and feel hope for the first time in a long time we allow ourselves to acknowledge the pain and loss that has lead us to this point. Making room for both to be. There is a time to mourn and a time to laugh but what happens when they collide.

Maybe there in that space is where true connectedness occurs.

Here are 5 ways to invite grief and joy in:

  1. Write a letter to a loved one you have lost. Remembering the good times and the tender moments dripping with sadness and loss. Tell them about what your life looks like now and the hope you have for the future.

  2. Sit in nature. Nature is vast and beautiful. In there we can experience growth of thought and emotion. Take yourself into nature, a walk in the park a silent drive with the windows down or hiking somewhere new. Maybe take a trusted friend talk through your hopes and sorrows with one another. which brings me to my next idea…

  3. Connect with someone you haven’t in a while. Talk with each other about what your last year has held. Just listen. and then be heard. In the listening and the hearing so much healing can happen.

  4. Journal. The cliché counselor response. But aren’t some clichés there because they work? Write out the things you’re grieving. Acknowledge the wins and the things that have brought you joy. Chances are there are more of each than you are aware of.

  5. Sit in silence. Honestly, this is the hardest thing for me to do but there is so much good that comes from being silent. Of opening ourselves up to something else beyond ourselves. To grow and experience emotions or thoughts that we are too busy to acknowledge pass through us from one day to the next.

Any of these suggestions are just that. Use them as inspiration, of places to begin and then go with that. Make it your own. Allow yourself to hold both the grief and joy that you hide away. And then… come back to the moment and with the knowledge of the grief and the joy make the most of the moment you’re in.

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Bibliotherapy: I’m Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy

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Rhythms over Routines